tears in heaven

I didn't expect myself to tear up. Perhaps it finally hit me when I saw you lying in there. You looked so pretty and peaceful. I was afraid of looking at you initially. That little window... But I did and I half expected you to open your eyes. Your skin was flawless.. smooth and life. However the mortician did a shabby job with your lips. There was still specks of lipstick marks. But you looked beautiful. And happy. And at peace. I couldn't look at you for that long.. even now, I still can't accept that you're called back to the Lord. We sang In Dulci for you. I looked at your photo, but I couldn't handle it so I looked at Mr Yong instead.. but he looked like he was going to cry. So I looked at the ground.. could you hear us? It was when we sang As Long As I Have Music that I lost it. You taught us how to love music and singing, now who's going to do that for us? Choir feels empty now.. lost with no direction. What do we do now? What's going to happen to us? You've been there for us for so long, how can we go on without you? Throughout the service your relatives/friends/churchmates were praying for you. I was too. And I thought of how this was the first wake I ever attended and I think I'm gonna sound like a total wuss, but I'm afraid of attending funerals/wakes now.. She said you were in a happier place, I know you are. Will you rmb us? I think we all will. We definitely will.. I miss you and I will continue to pray for you. Mdm Ang, I can't believe you're gone.. your dad and brother are so brave.. just like you are. I will keep your family in prayer especially your children. Bless your soul.

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