someday we'll linger in the sun

some music i have enjoyed from the months between feb - april

fiona apple (i would die to write lyrics like her)
new future islands album
julia holter (i only started listening to her bc prof played her songs during break in lecture.. im impressed)
joanna newsom (another recommendation from prof)
donald byrd (so slick.. so groovy, helps with writing, not so much with dancing)
arca (when ur in a discombobulated mood)
tops (pretending to dance with someone in ur room)
spoon (middle aged men music.. good for jogging.. if you ever do physical activity)
gorillaz (gaudy karaoke rooms in silly headgear)
mozart's sister (what i imagine shoshanna would listen to)
cosmic child (cotton candy melting on your tongue)
kamau (sunday morning glory)
sharon van etten (ultimate indicator to tell if ur still hung up over someone)
forests (SCREAMS INTO THE NIGHT)
subsonic eye (like dreaming, like flying, disassembling)

also!!!!! ive turned 21!!!!! girls has ended!!!! what do i use as a reference to base my life on now????

the absence of field

entire days feel like the shoving of feet into sand- not so fuzzy socks, granulated, salty without tasting the salt, but rosy enough to pretend there are freckles peeping through ur cheeks, is warm, is bright, is sunny, is honey. 

pals are prospering in their own paths, there is so much happening sometimes i feel like i cant contain the punctuation marks in my chest !!!!!!!! 

decided to be one of those hoes that track their tunes with last.fm again after previously deleting my account since it wasnt an 'accurate depiction of my music palette' HA HA bullshit, i was just embarrassed about Jonas Brothers showing up too many times. but for some reason spotify did not send me a 'year in review' so gotta take matters into me own hands right, im back on last.fm/user/krisyewest, come indulge in my new year new tunez. i missed this, i missed discovering and listening to new bands/artists... to more gigs hopefully, to more dancing badly in my room, more pretending im a movie character on the mrt :-))

the worst is all the lovely weather

NOTE TO FUTURE 2017 SELF:

DONT STOP LISTENING TO MUSIC
STAY CHILL STAY KOOL
GET NEW SNEAKERS
UR SADNESS IS TEMPORAL

there is something at work in my soul which i do not understand

still want the same things i did back then

do i dare disturb the universe?

can i call this suffering? is this worthy enough to be labelled suffering? or am i just ungrateful or picky? i dont think im miserable, except only on some days. should i have sought a greater adventure? i think im enabling myself to too many emotions. but here i am and here i am and this is now. its not a bad place, i just have to be happy in it

crash into me

its not a remarkable song but listening to the guitar riff while lying on my bed looking at the moon makes it somewhat remarkable. i dont think i'll ever reach a state of togetherness. i dont suppose its a good/bad thing, it just is and maybe thats enough to know that. maybe knowing that in itself is a type of togetherness. i think i have everything i wanted or thought i needed and its a good place. in fact it couldnt be better, i am, i quote past kristie 'diving into the heart of the world'. i just have to be happy in it.

its nice to be alone and ive missed this, just listening to music, feeling completely displaced and at the same time so connected to everything. im in a good place but things are harder than i thought it would be. things are exhausting and i am exhausted, things arent a hazy pool anymore and i think i am ok apart from being tired and sad and lonely but i think i will be ok somehow or maybe i wont and thats ok as long as i am living and feeling and being me. i think it will be ok