crash into me

its not a remarkable song but listening to the guitar riff while lying on my bed looking at the moon makes it somewhat remarkable. i dont think i'll ever reach a state of togetherness. i dont suppose its a good/bad thing, it just is and maybe thats enough to know that. maybe knowing that in itself is a type of togetherness. i think i have everything i wanted or thought i needed and its a good place. in fact it couldnt be better, i am, i quote past kristie 'diving into the heart of the world'. i just have to be happy in it.

its nice to be alone and ive missed this, just listening to music, feeling completely displaced and at the same time so connected to everything. im in a good place but things are harder than i thought it would be. things are exhausting and i am exhausted, things arent a hazy pool anymore and i think i am ok apart from being tired and sad and lonely but i think i will be ok somehow or maybe i wont and thats ok as long as i am living and feeling and being me. i think it will be ok