honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now
lets just be frank,
and i'll put things straight,
k
ristie on teh outside: act cute. act shy. daydream. hyper. scream loud. happy girlgirl. likes to do teh :3 face. she looks friendly. and gay.
kristie on teh deeper level: give good advice, emotional. prentends she's okay. quite shy. dreams alot. cannot sleep at night. kinda depressed.
see teh difference?
now.
kristie as herself: basically everything said on teh deeper level. plus, weird. unsure. tired. exhausted. so very exhausted. dreams way too much. a sucker for believing in worst case situations. depressed. so. very. much. depressed.
see the difference?
im so upset, with eveything, why is it that im able to give brilliant advice to others while i cant seem to take them in myself. damnit. damnit. i telll them not to be afraid, just go, take teh freaking initaive, while i freaking DONT. damnit, im always freaking confused, and im never in teh right state of mind to give advice, damnit, and they like it so much. why do i sound so mature when honestly, i havent grown up. damnit. im so tired. just so annoyed. so exhausted by myself.
its so freaking ironic, i get freaking mad when i see ppl who always seem so freaking happy, damnit, why issit that they can be happy. i tell myself "you could be happy too" but the mind doesnt listen, it never does, im so mad, so angry, so confused.
you might have so many ppl falling heads over heels in love with you, but im not like you, im just a girl, i dont wanna be like you. im just a girl.
im just a freaking girl trying to figure out my way outta this freaking teenagehood.
im supposed to feel young now, but honestly, i feel so freaking old.
im succha good liar. they suck my advice up.
i just telll lies.
lies so eay to believe, i surprise myself when im teh only one who doesnt fall for it.
im so tired. emotionally. anxiety breakouts are gone. thats a good sign.
i feel so old and exhausted.
why am i alwasy hiding.
pretending im okay when im freaking not.
im behaving liek the 13 years old me.
damn.
whyh issit that i never learn.
im a coward.
this sucks.
and i'll put things straight,
k
ristie on teh outside: act cute. act shy. daydream. hyper. scream loud. happy girlgirl. likes to do teh :3 face. she looks friendly. and gay.
kristie on teh deeper level: give good advice, emotional. prentends she's okay. quite shy. dreams alot. cannot sleep at night. kinda depressed.
see teh difference?
now.
kristie as herself: basically everything said on teh deeper level. plus, weird. unsure. tired. exhausted. so very exhausted. dreams way too much. a sucker for believing in worst case situations. depressed. so. very. much. depressed.
see the difference?
im so upset, with eveything, why is it that im able to give brilliant advice to others while i cant seem to take them in myself. damnit. damnit. i telll them not to be afraid, just go, take teh freaking initaive, while i freaking DONT. damnit, im always freaking confused, and im never in teh right state of mind to give advice, damnit, and they like it so much. why do i sound so mature when honestly, i havent grown up. damnit. im so tired. just so annoyed. so exhausted by myself.
its so freaking ironic, i get freaking mad when i see ppl who always seem so freaking happy, damnit, why issit that they can be happy. i tell myself "you could be happy too" but the mind doesnt listen, it never does, im so mad, so angry, so confused.
you might have so many ppl falling heads over heels in love with you, but im not like you, im just a girl, i dont wanna be like you. im just a girl.
im just a freaking girl trying to figure out my way outta this freaking teenagehood.
im supposed to feel young now, but honestly, i feel so freaking old.
im succha good liar. they suck my advice up.
i just telll lies.
lies so eay to believe, i surprise myself when im teh only one who doesnt fall for it.
im so tired. emotionally. anxiety breakouts are gone. thats a good sign.
i feel so old and exhausted.
why am i alwasy hiding.
pretending im okay when im freaking not.
im behaving liek the 13 years old me.
damn.
whyh issit that i never learn.
im a coward.
this sucks.
posted by kristie at
8:30 AM
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