every teardrop is a waterfall

it scares me at times when my dreams get a tad too realistic and my lonely mind gets confused, extremely confused. if it was an actuallity or the product of too much dreaming.

i can remember the feel. the taste, the words, everything.

so much so its creepy.

i remember one dream when - texted me 'where have you been all along?' i could have cried in that one.

things are falling apart and getting tangled i need to write my mortician story but i need my inspiration but my inspiration is miles away and i feel so lost and i need to sleep but i dont want to dream of realsitic things beacause my lonely mind will malfunction like it always does and my head starts thumping and i cant think straight anymore and i would need to bury my ears into panic and the killers and i would stop thinking and everything would stop and become clearer and maybe i would be able to think straight again.

because its been so long and im still confused and i havent made up my mind and yes im pathetic.

ah.