peace

I dreamt of the wake last night. I dreamt that kaely, David and I went to the wake again and I didn't want to go in, so kaely went in with David. Then she said that you were moving and David went in too and said you were coughing. Then I saw you moving and coughing and saying smth I couldn't hear then we told everyone and everyone came.. and I couldn't rmb what happened. I couldn't sleep last night but I was so exhausted. But I fell asleep anyway. It's just that so many things have happened recently and I'm so tired. Just got back from Taiwan and there was Grad Night the next day.. enjoyed myself though.. and then choir the next morning and later that night, news of your passing. And the next morning which was ytd, we went to school and last night we went to your wake. And tonight I'm meeting up with Miss Ee and I'm prolly gonna tell her about the wake. And there's open house tmr..and on Monday there's choir. And a concert at night and then choir on Tuesday and the choral exchange on Wed. How are we supposed to carry on with choir? And I'm still hungover from Taiwan. I rather fall sick sigh. The only time I'm familiar with funerals is in shows and movies. It would always rain and the mourners will wear black and carry black umbrellas. And the mortician will shove soil on the coffin and this young kid will put a daisy at the grave or smth like that. But even so, they were all actors.. they were very much alive. Except that you were not. It wasn't a movie it show, its for real. And it feels strange and untrue and sad.

Kenneth said that he dreamt of you too. That you spoke to him and you wore a white gown and you looked beautiful. Maybe it really is you. Then I'm really happy for you. I wouldn't mind if you spoke to me in a dream too, just to see you alright and at peace. Yes, that would be nice.

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