been a long time coming since I've seen your face,

WASSUP YALL I am back from da dead. So prelims have ended but this is kinda bad news to me. No more second chances or room for any screw ups. THIS IS IT. eeek.
Anyhoo. Idk if its just me but sometimes when its around midnight and my eyes refuse to shut my mind gets a little woozy and I cannot think straight. No rational and poised thoughts. I'm basically feeling very drunk and oblivious to what my woozy mind has manipulated myself to do. PLS IT'S NTH OBSCENE. I tend to do things on impulse and yet I don't realize it and I start feeling really messed up then I drift off to sleep and I wake up forgetting everything I've done the night before.... But after a period of 1 hour it all starts coming back to me and I realise it isn't a good idea to be awake after 12. Definitely not. Time to taste some of my shallowness. Yay joy I've rummaged the racks of H&M for 2 consecutive days alr hurray! Time to do my happy jig (nah I kid I CAN'T dance for nuts) but nevertheless retail therapy is magical (this is very superficial I know, but I am human, I am flawed) SO I SHALL DO MY HAPPY JIG~~ got a really cool _______ for Tim's bday even though its more than a month away (i am secretly listing over it) and today I've gotten 2 pullovers and a pair of turquoise jeans (i am a fashion genius LOL) a pack of coloured socks (bright&pretty) and some brown hair ties. WHOOHOO TIME TO DO MY HAPPY JIG AGAIN I realise I adore really loud and unusual clothes, be it texture/colour/design but bless my poor wallet, my palate inclines towards the expensive range so I settle for not so loud and cheaper alternatives I CAN'T WAIT TO START WORKING AFTER O'S then imma get that printed trousers & long lacey sleeved shirt, plus a leopard print jeans WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE WILL TURN OUT TACKY LOL and a dress..... Haven't found any I fancy. :p
After today, its back to hitting the books for me. URGH STUDYING IS DISGUSTING but what choice do I have? Just gotta go with it and make the best outta it. It's kinda scary actually. Btw I need help with those 'free' ebook downloads I tried plenty of websites to try to download Coldplay's biography (or issit autobiography??) But I can't :( MEH. maybe its my technology incompetency... Yes I believe so. OneRepublic's Feel Again video is out AHH I'M SO GLAD IT'S GAINING RECOGNITION GOSH THEY ARE SO UNDERRATED love them to bits. EVERYONE PLS HEAD TO YOUTUBE THANK YOU YOU HAVE A LOVELY SOUL my left arm is para-, para-, paralyzed thanks to 2 jabs HAHA I'M SUCCHA WIMP but the process didn't hurt, just the aftermath. It's (my arm) is swelling and it kinda looks like biceps ohyeah alrighty shall treasure the last few hours of my not quite freedom but AT LAST I CAN FINALLY BREATHE EASY have a wonderful lovely 'Feel Again'- infused weekend, hopefully my numb left arm can............. FEEL AGAIN HAHAHA I'M SO HILARIOUS bye fellow lonely mind(s) x.

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when your soul embarks.

Everything is a blur but there are still faint moments that aren't pixelated. Random patches and flashes but I rmb your name and your face. Maybe you don't look like that anymore, maybe you do. I don't recall ever talking much to you, but you were a presence and a part of my childhood. I wonder if you even have any vague remembrance of me. Highly unlikely. We're both 16 and yet we're so different. I still have dreams bubbling and gurgling beneath our skin itching for us to fulfil, I still have a future ahead unwritten, unanswered, blank and inviting, I still have a whole journey ahead and I've barely started. But you don't. You won't and you never will. It's unfair, we're both 16 but you can't. And here I am complaining I hate my life and that I wished I were dead. How many more souls must we lose until we open our eyes? There are so many things waiting for you and yet you'll never be able to reach them. Do you rmb me? Maybe we've both passed one another on the streets or taken the same bus, but I'll be able to do that again and you can't.. this isn't fair is it? Nothing is ever fair. I don't think anyone deserves this the harder I try to sketch a visual of you the easier I forget. And I can't find any class photos or anything. But that's hardly the point. Why would it even matter? The point is we're both 16. But I'm still very much alive but you're not. And that makes all the difference. The ripples of an event, you never know how far they can reach. I don't know what to say anymore. I'm alive, you're not. Please rest in peace Brandon. God Bless.

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The Big O's

And by O's I mean the OLYMPICS OF COURSE hah, I'm no sports fanatic, but the Olympics are pretty captivating and it opened my eyes to dozens of other sports I didn't know that actually existed like equestrian dressage HAHA IT'S REALLY CUTE the horses have to do this little fancy performance to some fancy music and its just so cute!  And the rhythmic gym is really impressive but I don't understand how is that a sport but anyway the girls are really pretty and talented so maybe eh? And the athletes are so hot and fit. And by fit I mean muscle overload and by muscle overload I mean really bulky until its kinda intimidating kinda bulky but really I see kids around my age winning medals and I'm stuck here with no accomplishment to my name?! Sobs It's quite pathetic actually but this is Singapore not US or China where they train you since young and buff you up or neither is this Vienna where there are music schools to enroll your kids in this is Singapore where academics are >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> any other thing but we shouldn't complain Singapore is a beauty. Anyway back to the point I should really start working out or at least keep fit or smth its embarrassing when I catch the Olympics and I look at my physical capabilities and....... The contrast is huge, massive actually. And it ends today aww mann :l LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CLOSING CEREMONY
Anyway idk why but I suddenly rmb-ed my childhood days living in Tampines. My house was this HDB flat and it was really huge even bigger than my present house actually. And I loved living there the living room is like twice my bedroom and this is a HDB flat so you can imagine how big it was. Hm maybe next time I'll buy that flat again when I'm rich and famous (just watch me) oh yes there was even a balcony and you could fit a children's pool in there. Not exactly a pool but more like a big inflatable bathtub. Ahh good times.

omg did Kester just ruin my blogpost by tweaking a bit of my post?! GRR So today during YF we were supposed to share one good/bad thing and I shared about missing Snow P's concert and then Joan was like 'Snow Patrol? I had like 5 free tickets.' Excuse me while I drown in my tears. S i g h. But she's gonna find the tickets and pass them to me as a consolation so yay me!
Prelims start this week oh joy x_x well press on, persevere and conquer! I haven't been pounding out my thought provoking blogposts (LOL) in a long while, haven't thought about life in a long time maybe I'm too busy. Anyway, have a lovely week ahead and CATCH THE OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONY FOR ME and my Chinese O's results are tmr ha ha ha ha ha ha

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tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

What right do I have? Why do I even think I have a right? Guess my questions have been answered, as much as I want to, I won't. I can't anyway. Why would it even matter, why did I even think it would? It's been too long and now its too late. The shade of regret/ache/the feeling of 'almost's, I only know too well.

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tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

What right do I have? Why do I even think I have a right? Guess my questions have been answered, as much as I want to, I won't. I can't anyway. Why would it even matter, why did I even think it would? It's been too long and now its too late. The shade of regret/ache/the feeling of 'almost's, I only know too well.

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'And my one regret is you.'

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gasoline rainbows

WOW IT'S AUGUST ALR time really flies I tell you! School/studying is such a chore/bore but I've got tons of good music to get me through! Especially 'Feel Again' by OneRepublic omg its so darn good. Very Florence and the Machine-esque but I love it! Not forgetting Scouting For Girls and John Mayer's new album. He has this new image now and he looks exactly like Jason Mraz I tell you. Btw, in reference to my post title, I don't have a definite liking towards gasoline rainbows I just can't help but to point on gasoline puddles encasing a circular rainbow on the roads esp after rain like, 'hey gasoline rainbow!' It's kinda like a beautiful accident? I think I read it somewhere. Or was it a beautiful tragedy? Anyway I realise that I commit the crime of judging a book very much by its cover, or title. Everytime I head to the library, I FAIL TO LAY MY DEPRIVED HANDS ON THAT VERY BOOK I AM LUSTING GLEEFULLY OVER why issit always on loan why why why anyway whenever I can't find it, I have to settle for randomly glancing through shelves, letting my tiny eyes filter and scour for potential good reads and most of the time I immediately
1) shun romance novels. Just not my type. I like a little dark humour and maybe one or two um, visual scenes (go figure) and most importantly the theme must greatly shine through all the pages of its glory.
2) I avoid book covers of sappy landscapes/ pictures of scenery/ a young girls face enlarged on the cover etc basically just sappy covers
3) if the title invokes any hint of sappy-ness I'm never touching it.
The books I usually look out for have bright eye seducing colours and graphics. Immediately I am drawn to it, and bonus if the title sounds nothing like a book title but most of the time I'm not that lucky but when I do its the greatest book ever! And when I say that I'm not being shallow. I'm saying that the plot isn't just realistic and relatable, but the themes and the depth explored in a character are just truly magnificent. Authors like that should all be knighted. And I think The History of Love by Nicole Krauss should have a more eyecatching cover. Just in case, the cover of the book is filled with books, flaps flailed open and paper strewn all over. It's a very sappy cover if you ask me and if RR didn't lend me the book I would have missed out on one of my favourite books ever. It's the only romance novel I actually like. It's not exactly a romance novel but it involves a love story so yeah. Okaye I'm boring all of you with this post. My apologies my life is very boring and laden with monotony. Except for a few things that never fail to bring me back to life.  Forgive me, I'll post smth cool and interesting that all hipsters will totally gush over soon. Snow P's concert is tmr, pls excuse me while I cry a river. Thank you and have a lovely week ahead!

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