mindless endless race

What's the point of studying? To secure a 'good' life? To call a highly exclusive executive condominium your abode? To do that whole cliche of fulfilling your dreams? Yes you've gotta work hard if you wanna go into business/law/medicine. But not for me. What's the point of going through smth that I am emotionally detached/drained/intimidated from just to secure a place in NUS for English Lit when truth is, there are way better Unis and colleges overseas that provide me with a better more specialized in depth assessment and acknowledgement of said area of interest. Whats the point really? When all I want in life is to be a sailor/somelier/writer. What's the point really? A matter of dignity (showing off your credentials)? I see no point, I see no answer. I do not need monetary gains, they do not excite me. What's the point really?

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Where is God when I need Him. For all these months I've been asking and praying and worrying and having sleepless nights and countless alternate realities playing out in my mind and I don't get answers. I don't get answers at all bloody hell You feel so far away and invisible I can't feel your presence at all idk what is Your plan for me I'm indecisive and emotional and undecided I really really really need Your comfort but I can't feel any of it. Are You even there?? I can't do this on my own Lord I need you I really really really do pls give me clarity and lemme know Your plan ASAP I don't want to regret my decision and even if I alr do, pls help me find a way out or at least realise its what I'm meant to do pls I need answers

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I'm starting to feel lost. Very lost. I don't even know what I'm doing. Why didnt I let my heart decide what am I even doing here.

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Have I mentioned that Tim has really bad fashion sense????? It's a pity he has a nice looking face

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life thus far

Life has been pretty awesome so far with orientation and all that. I'm starting to really really really like my school heh. It's enormous, my school it feels extremely uh, hogwarts-ish like with plenty of random corners and grand structures I mean a freaking canal runs through my school and there's a bridge to connect the 2 schools omg there's even a clock tower I kid you not. The friends I've made thus far are extremely likable and spontaneous too heh but the cohort is huge, like everyday I see new faces HAHA
Anyway its cny eve and I've haven't eaten a single pineapple tart or bakkwa which pretty much sucks since I'm down with a fever AM I TOO WEAK OR WHAT this is really a sign to start living healthy mann. I hope I get better tmr but its highly impossible la anyway sis has invited us over to his place on tues HAHA (yay) its a min to midnight I CAN SEE FIREWORKS FROM MY BEDROOM WINDOW SUCKERS

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my life right now

so I'm sitting here listening to horrible music while figuring out to tie my tie and my future lies undecided I cannot decide where to commit myself should I just go ahead and immerse myself into my said future or be unwelcoming and shun it? Honestly I better get used to life as I know it and keep my hopes down this is the greatest testimony that I should've always have went with my heart not my head. The heart wants what it wants

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lyf as a waitress out in the wild the edge of danger

A: everyone here is good
Me: what about me
A: you're the best!
AWW MANN I'M GONNA MISS ARSHAD SO MUCH wow life as a waitress wasn't as tough as I expected I actually enjoyed it pretty much but the food really gets to you after awhile. abhor some nasty diners though THEY THINK THEY OWN THE PLACE JUST CUZ THEY PAID 50$ HELL NO HELLS NO

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