learning how to be domestic

Or rather, how to improve what pathetic culinary skills I possess. Is cooking considered an Art? Or skill? I guess its both since ppl are so passionate in their beliefs in what they put on the stove and what scents whiff out after they're done. I've never considered myself as a wannabe chef but IDK MAYBE ITS A PHASE MAYBE ITS A WHAT, half-quarter life crisis (i had to google if there was such a term) OR LIKE A JULIE & JULIA MOMENT but girlfriend i am working that stove. Starting from tmr, I resolve to cook dinner once a week, I'm gonna try Sloppy Joe tmr.. I've never even eaten it before, much less been to America but I was thinking of what to cook that isn't too physically demanding with a high chance of burning up the kitchen AND I THOUGHT OF MOD FAM AND JAY WAS COOKING SLOPPY JAYS AND I WAS LIKE YES I COULD DO THAT and so here's my menu for dinner tmr!

Sloppy Joe
Bean Salad

I KNOW there's like minimal cooking you can't really cook a salad but I need greens in my dinner and hells no am I gonna make fruit salad I hate fruit salad I really do, I'm a sucker for beans though so yay me!! The only time I ever cooked unsupervised was when I was having cramps and hells to the no was I gonna buy food from opposite so I cooked instant noodles and THATS WHEN MY INNER JAMIE OLIVER SNEAKED OUT LIKE 'HEY WHY NOT COOK IT DRY?? WAIT WHAT NO SAUCE? CREATE YOUR OWN!' and 'OH YOU'RE REALLY BORING WHY NOT ADD AN EGG???' which lead to 'how do you cook an egg do you just throw it in me the noodles but wont it stick and become all soggy ugh kris you are disgusting' but eventually I did throw it in and it did cook and the sauce was horrid but I didn't die so yeah. But I would't count instant noodles as cooking though so tmr shall be my first time OMG PLS I DONT WANNA POISON MY FAM and damnit my Mac needs to stop changing my 'tmr' to 'tar' IT IS NOT A TYPO

The reason why I decided to try my hand at cooking is cuz I can't bake for nuts I pretty much suck at baking and I tried baking a few times myself and aw mann baking is just really gay no offence to bakers and gays (I love bakers and gays) but I'm just not cut out for sieving flour and softening butter and scraping the mix etc nah my baked goods will put the baking world to shame I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS COOKING THING WOULD WORK OUT but I will try and if I fail, I still have the rest of my life to figure it out.

On a sidenote, I've been exercising I HAVE BICEPS NOW IM NOT KIDDING PLS ASK TO FEEL THEM (the only things I'll allow to be touched LOL) they are very shapely HAHAHA okaye all these talking of food is making me hungry I wonder how I even survived my waitress stint. Kinda miss it though after watching 2BG. Gonna marinate my mince beef tonight yay AND PPL BETTER NOT START WEARING BOAT SHOES IM GONNA FLIP IF THEY DO THEY BETTER NOT CUZ THEYRE THE ONLY KIND OF SHOES THE WHOLE WORLD IS NOT ONTO THIS IS MY DISCOVERY, MY SHOE SO BACK OFF HIPSTERS BACK OFF