I don't know how many times I've said this but 3 years ago I (being the wimp that I am) was completely shattered and desolate about the fact that my life will never be anything close to an adventure (often I associate adventure with leaving the country and travelling aboard to embark on pale streets and strange air) and I was sad for almost a month and it didn't help that my close friends were always going to far flung places only my mind can reach and god it was torturous up till now I've haven't shaken off the notion, only let it breed and harvest and of course its back greater than ever and maybe I'm being silly saying this but I really do want very very very much to leave SG and not come back for a long time I see all these culture and smells and I want to let every inch of air seep through my pores and reverberate   in my whole being (and now I sound creepy)  I want to taste heartache and temptation within graffiti addled walls and cobbled streets and maybe that is why I love airports and the sea so much. I am afraid of drowning, terrified actually but the crests bring some sense of calmness and I wouldn't mind spend the rest of my tragic life on a ship