defying physics

I keep insisting my life is boring but actually my life is quite funny in a tragic manner like a dark sitcom LOL anyway today smth really weird happened I was in the shower and when I came out there was this commotion and apparently the window in the masterbedroom's toilet had a huge hole and there were like shattered glass pieces all over the floor in the bath tub in the toilet bowl and it's freaking weird cuz it doesn't seem like a contraction/expansion thingy but as if smth hit the glass and I live on the freaking 23rd floor what to heck maybe a bird flew into the glass hahah but no there wasn't a corpse?!?! Very mysterious Kenneth says someone trying to shoot me wow come to think of it this is serious I could've been just doing my biz in the toilet and bam!! Glass breaks I get cut my the pieces and bleed to death I almost died we almost died very mysterious what is going on??? 

On a sidenote I really want a dog :((((((