how do i discern, choose wisely between listening to my own thoughts, the first 'you move at your own pace, don't you worry' and 'you're falling behind'? how???? 怎麼辦????

maybe i've been reading too much murakami, maybe i've met my threshold, maybe i've become a murakami character because in the first place its not hard to be one because literally all the main characters are so average i guess its what makes them relatable. its not a bad thing i suppose, i am clueless and lonely and displaced, more so now than ever.