I will follow you into the dark.

It would be complete, I repeat, complete suicide if I acted on a rush of blood to the head and blamed everyth on impulse. It would either, 1) prolly reduce(destroy?) any tiny hope of salvation. Or 2) have some form of closure. Good/bad, doesn't matter. It's almost easy, from the words of Barney 'Dont think. Just do.' Perfect solution for picking up chicks maybe, but definitely not for the situation. How can you do smth that invokes so much thoughts w/o thinking? Some things I understand enough to forgo, others, well. Of course I still care. Of course I am concerned. But now that we're both estranged within our own  consuming minds it'll be technically impossible to evoke the same effect like I used to. Perhaps I wasn't good enough. Maybe. Maybe. We get jaded don't we? After all the turmoil we've each been through. And we get old. You can feel it from the weight of your heart. Or maybe its grown so light since you constantly shut ppl out, maybe letting a few in. Memories are trigger happy. At least mine are. Maybe I should've been more understanding. Because 2 years on, I've come to realise that what you were feeling back then was prolly incomprehensible for my then half filled mind. Yes, I only have myself to blame. I got tired of constantly pressing my ideas into your imprintless mind, hoping they'll leave a mark. You're weary. Your energy comes and goes. Don't we all? A phase of life? Yes. Definitely. But why does it happen so often to me? Thank me and vanish completely? My words weren't shallow or empty. So why why why? But at least the current situation is pretty much salvage-able. So perhaps.
And this. Well. There's nothing much I've left to say. So be it. Whatever new wrecking news presented to me, it doesn't matter. Whatever that happens now does not alter what's already been done. Too late to apologize? Yes. Yes indeed. Not like there ever was one though. Because I choose not to bother anymore, because I made up my mind, I will not falter. It doesn't matter anymore.