Loneliness doesn't leech your soul, sometimes it reminds you of yourself w/o anyone or any labels. Sometimes I feel so lonely maybe it exists only in the mind. There is no physical existence or proof of loneliness but it is a feeling. And you know when you are. There is no denying you can't anyway. So toxic so invisible but it still exists.

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persevere and conquer!!

MY HEART BEAT IS RAPID, MY MOOD IS FLUCTUATING I AM AT THE BRINK OF ALMOST TASTING WHAT I PAID FOR MY RUGGED AND DEPLORABLE SOUL IS ALMOST BASKING IN SOLACE THAT THIS NIGHTMARE WILL SOON BE BUT A FADED STAIN IN MY MENTAL SCRAPBOOK MY PATIENCE IS FRAYING AT THE ENDS AND I CRAVE AND THIRST FOR SOME ABSOLUTION THE DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED THIS IS NO TIME TO COWER AND SCURRY AWAY I WILL BE BRAVE THE BATTLE BEGINS TMR I WILL PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT ROLL OF THUNDER HEAR MY WAR CRY

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my rant in defense of Ryan Tedder

So today there was this article in Thought Catalog titled
Is The New OneRepublic Song Ripping Off Florence + The Machine? http://t.co/PU3DlYBP
And it went on to flame Ryan Tedder for reusing backtracks from songs he written for other singers. And yes whatever Feel Again has the clapping just like Dog Days are Over but the melody sounds nothing like it and yes it also sounds like 'I've got soul but I'm not a soldier' from All Things That I've Done by The Killers but other than that it is completely One Republic-esque and the lyrics are extremely Ryan Tedder infused too and I don't understand what the writer meant by homoerotic it just felt like a bashing of Ryan Tedder, who are you Nico Lang... His ex?? You sound so full of hate and harsh words. Ryan Tedder is talented no doubt its just tragic you can't see how brightly he shines.

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Loneliness so toxic and invisible it exists only in your mind.

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my thoughts and feelings towards graduation

It's a lame title, I know, I know. Hm so in 2 days I will bid farewell to my home of 4 years in a way I grew up (maybe not physically eek) but yeah these 4 years have been good. I met life long friends (i just know they are)  and other ppl and I've learn one or 2 things from them I guess we all grew up tgt huh. But funny thing is I don't feel much about graduating. I don't feel nostalgic or emotional or sad or anyth perhaps I've grown a little apathetic towards this no no its the culture, I've grown extremely tired and sick of my school's culture. After 4 years of the same environment, I am starving for a change so honestly I'm pretty happy to be graduating. It's bittersweet I guess, but more of sweet gosh so done with school mann. But I must say xms really gave me a lot of memories. From 2 overseas trips to planning a few events to winning a few awards to meeting my best friends....... Xms has treated me well and I am thankful but but but I need a change toss me into the oceans of change pls thank you. Maybe I'll be more emotional after Tuesday LOL
On a completely unrelated note, I went to gardens by the freaking bay ytd cuz Tim is a free bird now and its so crowded its like they transported the entire crowd from the mrts to the gardens. It's a pretty cool place, literally with 2 air conditioned domes, one of which is called the Cloud Forest cuz they are trying to recreate a high altitude natural environment with this 35m tall waterfall/hill with mist jets everywhere cool stuff. (again, literally) but it was so darn crowded you couldn't take your time to view all the pretty flowers cuz you'll be a hazard yes a hazard. Come to think of it its quite amazing how they arranged the plants/flowers considering that the whole place was huge and they had to arrange it in a way that was aesthetically appealing. Anyway we had to walk on the metal railings along the mountain so its like you're midair haha and since the mountain is essentially a building there were exhibits inside too, idk why it reminded me of the earthquake centre in Taiwan hm. We went to the flower dome afterwards after dinner and its was alr like 8plus and it was super dark so we couldn't really see the flowers but prefer this over the other one there was this section with giant cactuses and baobao trees plus the dim light its the perfect setting for a Halloween scare house. There were plenty of 'pls do not touch' signs and Tim and I took a few photos with our hands on the sign I'm succha badass LOL
Honestly I'm not sure if I wanna go back there cuz I'm no garden enthusiast but its a novel idea though.
I guess I'll enjoy my last 2 days of school before I don't have a chance and and. I'm quite upset/angry/disappointed but maybe I should've expected it. Whatever, I can't say I didn't try cuz I did. Maybe it just wasn't right. I can think of a whole universe of reasons why. No wait, I can't. I really can't.

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