40 days and 40 nights
i have yet to dream of your face that brushes mine
feel the tension crackle
on your skin i etch my name across your veins

how you keep me waiting
on my toes you leave me time and time and time again
you have stars in your eyes
i am blinded in your elegance please stop shining

(wrote this on a whim (is it on a whim or in a whim) while listening to Out Of My League- Fitz and the Tantrums)

Fitz & The Tantrums - Out Of My League [Official Audio]

THIS CAME OUT ON MY BDAY HAHAHAHAHAHAAH

I'm sorry if you use ask.fm but honestly its getting really really annoying to see answers to questions THAT I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN FLOODING MY TIMELINE (if you're funny/interesting you're excused) but seriously its so self-seeking (whatever it means) maybe it feels good having ppl bug you with sexually harassing questions (is it really??) But YOU DON'T HAVE TO SYNC IT TO THE WHOLE WORLD AH DAMNIT PLS GET YOUR EGOS CHECKED

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conflicting feelings

Am feeling extremely conflicted recently.. guess it shows in the way I present myself. I try very hard to translate my thoughts through my dressing but often times it comes across as 'too much honey' do you get what I mean???? PROLLY NOT. anyhoo, I finished season 1 of Girls, its actually pretty witty and I like Hannah very much I find myself identifying with her just a little esp when it comes to writing LIKE GOD I CAN'T EVEN STRING A SENTENCE TGT THAT DOESN'T BORDER ON CLICHE AND UNINTELLIGIBLE damnit. Also, finally met up with my darling choir peeps I missed them very much and I felt very happy to be back in xms. This morning was a bit of a scramble. My mum found an album in the storeroom full of old Indochine banknotea, one of which is a  100 dollars Indochina banknote from 1936 that is apparently extremely rare and is valued over 1000$.
CUZ I DID MY RESEARCH GUISE GONNA BE RICH AND FAMOUS SUCKERS. Celebrated Kayden's 2 year old bday he is extremely adorable I love him very much.
Sidenote:
I hate feelings. I hate conflicted feelings. It's not even a matter of how the heart chooses to respond its confusing and unpredictable I feel like a bad person and yet I can't control, these reins I cannot restrain help I'm so confused

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this is a diagram

To say that we are far apart would be much of an understatement. only a matter of traffic lights away, perhaps a neighbourhood park too, the distance of 3 songs.
On a map: no more than 2 finger spaces away, we are joined by roads (red lines) bleeding through the thin sheet.
Geological proximity aside,
Sigh
We are a concept of 'untowardness'
A dose of 'over politeness', too civil, too political.
(i do not blame you)
We are an awkward exhibition of a final shot desperate attempt to
for me: cling onto whatever past grievances I still bitterly hold (i bear grudges)
for you: to iron out.......... (till now I fail to navigate the unfathomable depths of your mind)
sighsighsighsighsigh
S I G H
I am a caricature of misled decisions:
merely assumptions/scattered hopes/a bottle of tragic sighs
And you:
Reaching all the unattainable that i'll never be/ attaining all the unreachable that i'll never be
My world does not translate to graphs, numbers, theories, concepts
(You, on the other hand, hardly bleed poetry)
And yet through what pathetic mathematical perspective I possess- I conclude. (almost unwillingly)
That in the Venn diagram of you and I, the intersection says 'never'.

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too many thoughts

1) I have a feeling the book I borrowed from the library about the Cold War is grossly overdue (bless my soul)

2) I have mixed feelings regarding missing The Script's concert. Future kristie will hate present kristie for foregoing the concert but another part of me doesn't really feel the pinch.

3) Am looking forward to 2 things this year. OneRepublic's new album and THE KILLERS ARE COMING TO SG AHHHHHHHH after cancelling their 2009 show.

4) I really really really like the painting Belicia did for me. I really do.

5) The twins are psyched about my penguin as mentioned in the earlier post and I love them so.

6) I do not look my age (17 if you're wondering)

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fyi

Sis got me a clockwork penguin which waddles when you wind it which David conveniently remarked 'Dont use it for the wrong reasons'. Welcome to my life

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my life a few days back

So i guess today concludes the end of my JC life. A02 surprised me with a cake and ice cream smash today haha I was honestly so touched.
Anyhoo:
1) I now own a MAC
Call me hipster but apparently Mass Comm needs it and god its so complicated I'm still figuring out how to use it I need to overcome that technological barrier in my mind. On the bright side I can now do covers and by covers I mean tryna look okaye on cam while trying to sound relatively good while playing the uke AND ALL THESE COORDINATION DAYUM

2) have visited the doctor thrice in the past month. I haven't really gotten rid of all the germs since the month started :l I can feel them hovering within my bloodstream....
3) 17
I'm 17 now yay but honestly I don't feel any different... Maybe the novelty has worn off.. or just become jaded la. but it was nice celebrating with the ppl I cared about. And I got pretty rad stuff too esp the painting belicia gave me. It's up on my wall now :D

One more thing, I really do miss writing well.. nowadays I'm just a jumble of lackluster words that carry no weight, no soul no impact.. I hope I get my groove back I really do. Afterall its what defines me, what good is a writer without her craft?

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12$ hair cut

Haven't been blogging in awhile, pardon my inconsistency. Anyway may I add that my fickled heart has finally settled and I do indeed feel that much awaited 'inner peace' school is pretty boring but my classmates make it awesome haha. Now that school doesn't start till April, I have a month to do my stuff aka learn whatever I have to learn, clear whatever I have to clear. Having said that, I miss my friends a lot. Haven't seen RR and ky since forever, thank God I still meet the rest regularly. Anyway I'm sitting here in a cheapo salon waiting for my turn to have my hair cut. LOL yes I'm a self professed cheapo. Been having the same hair style since Sec 2 don't think i'll change it, (blame my Summer Finn influences)
UGH THIS SUCKS I CAN'T BREATHE MY NOSE HAS FAILED TO FUNCTION I HATE BEING SICK on a sidenote, I'm getting sick and tired of this, I hope you change soon I really do. Running outta reasons soon.

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