outta my league

visited ahma at the hospital today and it messed me up a little for just awhile. idk mann, maybe cuz it was a private hospital the lingering aftertaste of death wasn't as blatant??? but then again im not complaining. the ward was pretty good actually, idk its like a cross between a dorm/hotel/airplane. hopefully she gets discharged tmr she looks so bored there poor thing but im glad shes okaye ahgong so cute he came to visit her with a whole bag of biscuits and agar agar 

and lemme tell you the story of how i destroyed the most painful pimple i ever experienced in my life BLOODY HELL ITS SMALL BUT IT BLOODY HURTS I TELL YOU MY NOSE IS FREAKING SWELLING NOW EVEN AFTER I POPPED IT I LITERALLY SPENT LIKE 30MINS TRYNA POP IT AND THAT LIL BITCH STAYED THERE THE WHOLE TIME but i finally did and god it really hurts its still throbbing now and my nose is red hahaha i look like Rudolph THIS IS KARMA FOR MAKING FUN OF KY HAHA IM SORRY WE'RE EVEN NOW 

have you ever had so much admiration for someone, it feels like they are perfect to you? every single one of their bones are perfectly aligned, every eyelash in its rightful curvature? it feels so foreign and exciting at the same time i wonder if a few years back cold feet wasn't a reason, perhaps an alternative route could be played out and i really do wonder what it would feel like but i guess its smth i could never understand, your mind is basically shrouded in mystery and that blackhole aka time ruined pretty much everything and you are way out of my league. i could never ever measure up to you and maybe thats why i admire you so much. it feels like one day youre gonna be successful in the future and that you alr have your whole life planned before you and idk where i'll be by then but i'll prolly hear bout it and i have so many words, so many things to say but one thing remains the same, you are out of my league/ got my heartbeat racing/ if i die don't wake me/ cuz you are more than just a dream