one day this body will break

finally MH370 has been found, in the middle of the Indian Ocean and idk mann, I always felt that these tragedies only occurred in movies or tv shows ie. LOST but alas, i keep forgetting that sometimes life can be even more dramatic than art and i am trying to imagine if i were on that very plane, like for some strange twist of fate i was supposed to be flying to Beijing alone and I'd be so excited to travel and what if suddenly the plane starts malfunctioning and crashes into the sea or worst, what if its a prolonged drop to the bottom and i'm just sitting there waiting to die waiting to feel pain (would i feel anyth?) waiting for darkness or flames or combustion or water or salt? i always dream of dying. not death specifically but its always about dying. just last night i dreamt that the world was ending and ppl were running around, trying to escape and even in my dream i was capable of conceiving thoughts like 'why am i still hoping for some sort of miracle to happen when this world is ending and death is imminent' and just a few nights ago i dreamt that this lady was sending her henchmen/hitmen after me and a few of my family members (we managed to gun her down but she didn't die and we got rounded up in the end after a few days and were captured and were supposed to die lol) and even though its just a dream you don't realise it when you're dreaming and the fear is very real and when you jolt awake you're like 'woah thank God it was a dream' but for all these passengers aboard the MH370 it is a realisation that they are going to die and they're not even dying, they're alive and maybe the adrenaline makes them feel 100x more alive and idk whats worst, recognising how full of life you are right before you die or the process of dying. can only pray for the family and friends of everyone on the plane