lying next to you, wishing i could disappear.

i think what tosy said was true.
drown your sorrows in food.
funny thing is that with every bite, i think about you.

talk, talk is cheap,
gimme a word,
you can keep.

i wonder if you ever noticed that. because i do.

staring outside looking at the rain drops sliding off the windows.
reminds me how easily you let it slip.
raindrops hit my file as i bend my head down,
seems like im crying.

im at the right place at the right time,
just with the wrong feelings.

can i just disappear?
because even if i do,
you'll never notice.
would you?

whaddaya want from me?

i'm guesing i would be a writer when i grow up. correction, when im old enough. which i guess i am. but guessing is not gonna get me anywhere. lets take a look at my calandar.

ohmy. there's like stuff clouding up evey box. lemme count the days i have to be present in school. oh nevermind, i'll count the days when i DONT have to be in school OR free days.
5.
5
5

5 days?! thats not even a week.

ahhhhhhhhhhh. ok, shall talk about happy stuff.

went to sentosa on friday. and it was kinda boring. yawnzxc. but fairly well recieved i guess. ok, doesnt really mean anything by well recieved but thats how it felt.
okays, so my mum found a dslr stashed away in the storeroom for like, forever. and it looked so old it looked like a toy. seriously. my mum said it was a gift to me. and hopefullty it works. but on closer observation, that thing is like decomposing. the casing. then it looks real sturdy, so there's still some hope. and then my dad bought it like 20 years ago. wow.
guess what, it uses film.
perfect.
just when i thought i could have some progress in my photograper's journey. all that has gone
KKKRAASSSH
yay.

i have now no idea what to do with it. i was thinking of selling it, then my dad was like, "no one will buy it"
okayss...
so maybe i'll just keep it and hope it works.
whichhhh, prolly wont.

ok, so yesterday was the first appointment. my first step in my quest to straight teeth.
aunt had to stuff this huge metal spoon? into my mouth with the stuff to make the mould. the mould tasted horrible. like strawberry flavoured and then it dried up to save the shape.
and then the most horrendous thing happened,
the mould dried and my aunt couldn't pull it outta my mouth.
and i was like
OOOOOWWWWWWW AND AHHHHHHHHHHH
somehow, this scares me.
from putting braces. D:

BUT I SHALL PESEVERE.
MY XRAY SESSION IS TMR.
and there's sectionals too. ohwells.

i shall start a post on how chocolate envelopes my whole being.

HI GILLAIN CINDY ADERIC
HAVING FUN?

haha peace.
the white chocolateis lying untouched and so very vunerable in my fridge.

what is happening now, has left me without anything to say.

today was an extremely busy day for me. in the morning the indonesian visitors came to our class, and trust me, being the shyshy girl i am, you can imagine what sorta happened. hehheh
and mr lee was kinda.. umm. enthusiastic with the pressence of the visitors, probably a good thing. i cracked up when geraldine and yeheng were screaming at random intervals.
haha kent was like, "kristie! why you keep laughing?"

and then the amkss invest,
HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GONNA DANCE IN THOSE COURT SHOES.
my feet hurt real bad now. blisters forming. its even worse then moe excel fest.
amkss was pretty interesting but the location was.. wait for it, wait for it, ISOLATED.

dear missing person,
lets just said i've tried to make things as easy as i could for you.
i know so many stuff are clouding your mind now and its so freaking obvius im trying to help you to the best that i can.
i know you have many friends, you don't need me.
but, who was the one who picked you up when you were falling apart?
i guess you can say im being overly sensitive.
maybe i am.
but then again, i dont wanna care about you anymore.
you let me down time and again.
dont just say sorry, because you're not.
you apologised too many times.
and you dont learn your mistakes at all.
im not gonna continue accomodating with your twisted moodswings.
hot and cold.
im sick of it.
when you ---- my ---- ----, honestly my ----- hurt more than my ----.
figure out what the blanks mean.
i bet you dont know.
so many things you dont.
thats it.
you, are no longer part of the reson why i am glad i have someone to confide in.
you, can just go on and have fun.
you, dont matter to me anymore.
you, are not a friend.
and never was.

i dont think you'll read tis though.
because you dont care.

rainbows and balloons and icecream

lets summarize my past week.

it wasn't exactly great, kinda sucked. :P
so many things are running through my mind.
run run run
like a movie i've haven't watched.
where's the rewind button?
so that maybe i can see again, in full details, the places i went wrong.
too many places.
too many.

where's the exit sign?

woah. i talk to myelf. like bubbles. whee.
writing a blog is like talking to myself.
hi kristie
hi
so.. hows life?
umm ok i guess. im not dead yet. :)
haha, you always say that when i ask you.
yeahs i know.
are you doing ok? you dont look exactly good.
well.. i wouldnt say im fine.
whats wrong?
everything.. but they arent really important stuffs
do you mind letting all out?

IM TALKING TO MYSELF SO I GUESS I WILL

well.. everything. i feel out of place.