so this is how it feels like

the past three days have been dedicated to the syf closing ceremony at ucc theatre at nus! it was tiring of course, but rewarding. the feeling we get after a performance is indescribable. honestly fantastic! the st andrews band was magnificent! the drummer is so talented! wow, i seem to have a fetish for drummers! the finale was really climatic, with the streamers and confetti and over dosage of stage lights. oh speaking of stage lights, i was really fascinated by them. there were only a few colors and yet so many different shades of stage lights illuminated the stage. amazing. i guess this is what it means to live 'life in technicolor' . there was a moment when david kaely and i sat in the audience watching an almost empty stage and i told them that it reminded me very much of the last episode of glee when kurt and rachel sneaked into broadway stage. ahhh. a life of a performer is wonderful. i should definitely be a traveling musician tugging brentz along. anyhoo, evelyn, tosy, shihui, kaely and i had great fun hehehehe. :) ah, i hope its on tv though. :)

i found you finally.

haha we look so stunning right!
the dressing rooms have beautiful lights. it was like some broadway/hollywood thingy mirror with light bulbs around its border. mad cool okay!






inside the ucc theatre.
thats us with the st andrews band!
backstage at the theatre!

FLAG DAY (COFFEESHOP SUPERHEROES!)

HELLO WORLD!
sat was the best day of the week! HANDS DOWNNNNN
i did flag day with lrr and we decided to go to bishan j8 partly because i live near there but anyhoo
we spotted rivals carrying their ammunition on their arms. we needed to escape. we needed to get to our base. we needed to achieve our mission.

it was urgent.

SO WE WENT TO THE COFFEESHOPS HAHA
those suckers at j8 and interchange no money lor
we smart we go coffeeshop.
1)there's always change
2) they cant escape
3)families are present

so they have to have to give us some moolah all for charity okaye.

we went to 8 coffeeshops in total and lets just say the world has lovely ppl. :)
hallelujah!
there's this uncle who donated one buck by pulling it out from his ear.
he is a magician i swear.

i felt so good and so did lrr.
ah, there's still love in this beaten shattered world.

invest!

i felt so accomplished.
i wouldnt have done this w/o my lovely comm and my sls and of course des.
i love you all.

cant believe im gonna have to say farewell to all of you next year.

one more day

i dont care if ppl say they dont wanna come for tmr.
im doing this for the sec3 sls who stuck by one another since sec1.
im doing this for the new batch of sec3 sls.
im doing this for all the sls.
im doing this for all the comm members
because they deserve this.
SLB deserves this.

its my first major project and i yes,
i have faith.

i can do this.

one more pussh

ohmy sounds so wrong.
yay we can do this!
its the first time i want something so bad to be a success!
hang in there yeah!

keep going, keep faith, keep strong

a capable/talented girl told me this.
imma hold onto that

Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (Live)

all i have to give.

i guess today's rehearsal didn't go as well as i intended to.
sigh i guess ms martin/liya/justin/tiffanywas right. it takes two hands to clap. even though i may have messed up i know i was extremely prepared, but then again it wasn't what i had meant it to be.

you say i did a great job. and so did you. and because you're seniors and much more experienced than me, i shall believe you.

but i'm still disappointed, and upset.
why issit that ppl have to be talking when im talking all the time?
i know im not in the exco or a executive head but im still the oic of this event and i really wish you could just listen.

maybe you guys are still young, but to the seniors, this is their last invest, its a closure of a journey for them. its important for them.
sigh.

but i shall move on.

the comm really put in alot of effort and i'll just have to go all the way.
i'll keep trying no matter how hard it gets, just have to give it my all.
take a leap of faith.

you so sweet, you put hershies outta business!

ni hao!
argh i dont like the way things are turning out to be!!!!!!!!!! >:(
why are we judged by ppl who barely know us?!?!
the side you are seeing may not be the truth! urgh. im so mad at it la. anyhow change things.
WHY YOU LIDDAT?!
argh. so angry! i completely understand but still, i cant accept it yet though. and now another one! rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
so mad >:(


you said you will so please dont leave me with empty promises.

are you lost? cuz i found you here.

i have a newfound hobby.
these days im just so confused.

second chances

sigh.

it was quite startling to find out a reality in the morning which stumps you for the rest of the day.
ah.
i really believe that you have so much potential and that you're one of the most capable ppl amongst them. i just wished you had a second chance because i really do believe you can do it.
we're all gonna miss you so much.

one two three

the first sad thing that happened on friday night was that i had the most incredible dream ever. i dreamed that the script were in a movie and i even saw the poster, with danny looking as stunning as ever in the middle. O_O

and then i dreamed of ryan tedder and ah, dreaming of your hero is as good as meeting them in real. i've dreamed of ryan tedder twice already hehe.
it was sad because i woke up from it.

the second sad thing was... ah i dont wanna talk about it.

the third sad thing was that some idiot messed with my lonely mind and i was disappointed i guess? or maybe even angry but i dont think i am now.

the fourth sad thing was really sad.

the fifth sad thing was that i wasn't going to church the next morning.

well, the first happy thing was that my physics sub was super dedicated and he helped me with my physics homework.

the second happy thing was that alicia took me on a food discovery quest around my gramps place and i was really happy.

the third happy thing was that my gramps cooked vinegar pork trotters and it was really good.

the fourth happy thing was that Lou is now in love with my uke.

the fifth happy thing was that i learned how to play E.T on my uke.

the sixth happy thing was that jacky wants to go for the christian youth group outside school with me! hallelujah!

overall it was a sad day

angry/upset/nostalgic?

trust me, i can always work my magic and get yourself together. i could you know.
adgugtudgbjfbhfh
i cant believe i actually went there before. thinking about it makes me wanna slap myself.
aishh.

so all star lost his math tb, thats quite smart of him -__- so i loaned him mine. i dont think i'll be needing it anyway.
oh and i did math homework at the detention corner while jacky did detention. i almost suffocated and combusted in the oxygen and burst into flames in the heat. sg seriously needs snow.
oh and the high point of my day was that cairo came back to visit us and i've never been happier until i was reminded of stuffs mostly abandonment issues and i got mad and upset and insecure and my brain malfunction for a moment but i was still happy cairo came back and so that didn't last very long. and im so glad she's fine and happy and still incredibly beautiful as ever.
oh yes i have the almost-exact ic number as lewis which is a bad thing.
and i realised two truths:
whenever u see kawee on the bus to school, it means
1) he's early
2) im late

mostly, its number 2. seriously the bus is so inconsistent i've been almost late recently, no make that, for the past few days. kawee doesn't seem to be bothered by this though.
miss ee told me to catch the sso at the esplanade. they'll be performing bach- BRANDENBURG CONCERTOS. they sound so nice and it'll be so cool! cello friend says he's coming with me! im excited. :)
invest is coming up soon! everyone is working so hard, i really hope it goes well, im worried, but i have faith in the comm and i have to thank des for guiding me along. ah, take a leap of faith krispy!

harlow

transfromers is so cool haha
i had good food today
and i love church.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh
Where love is lost, your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe



So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning ohh

Adele - Turning Tables (Live at Largo)

every teardrop is a waterfall

it scares me at times when my dreams get a tad too realistic and my lonely mind gets confused, extremely confused. if it was an actuallity or the product of too much dreaming.

i can remember the feel. the taste, the words, everything.

so much so its creepy.

i remember one dream when - texted me 'where have you been all along?' i could have cried in that one.

things are falling apart and getting tangled i need to write my mortician story but i need my inspiration but my inspiration is miles away and i feel so lost and i need to sleep but i dont want to dream of realsitic things beacause my lonely mind will malfunction like it always does and my head starts thumping and i cant think straight anymore and i would need to bury my ears into panic and the killers and i would stop thinking and everything would stop and become clearer and maybe i would be able to think straight again.

because its been so long and im still confused and i havent made up my mind and yes im pathetic.

ah.

why you are not where i am at

i shall be very honest.

as much as i wanted to decieve myself into thinking that you would be having the time of your life miles away, its not possible for me to think that way. i couldn't. i wish i could say im supremely happy you're living your dream but i cant. i want you back so badly. or could you take me where you are at? i need to get out of this place so badly. i need to be where you are at so badly. i need to feel the soil of a foreign dream in my toes. i need you to remind me to continue writing. i need you to remind me to love the words in the dictionary. i need you to remind how to invent inspiration. i want you back. at times i think if i were given this one such opportunity i wouldnt blow it but distance is creating spaces and gaps in my lonely mind. i need some rememberence, a reminder, a sign, anything, to get me back to where i was previously at. i really really wished i didnt come back. i dont think i ever would. maybe i just need some assurance. maybe i just need to be where you are at.

i wonder if you could travel subconciously. your mind can leave your body and go to the place you always wanted to be. it could be anywhere anytime.

i need your reminder.