tangle and unravel

1) i am still very mad at stupid 1R what to freak I was in freaking hard rock last week at this time frick you can you please come back and take me away from school sigh am I even trying hard enough to push myself for school??? Like honestly I have no excuses la haha if i were in jc i won't even try justifying my whiny complains but here I am alive!!! And I still feel so black. Black is not a colour, it is an emotion. I used to feel blue but now i just feel black. I just want to wear black for the rest of my life. but haha get real need to appreciate what i have (some semblance of a 'life') and at least Im not mindlessly force feeding my brain info. Interesting fact of the day: Miki mentioned that all our vaycays add up to a year so technically we're doing 2 years spread across 3 years WOW i did not realise that

2) sometimes you look at this person and you realise how similar you two are and you're just full of exclamatory points (!!!) this is a very vague and horrid description but this is whats going on in my head, full blown bolded exclamatory points (funny how my thoughts are dehumanised (???) into symbols, or rather punctuation) and I'm just thinking if 'person' realises this too cuz i don't want to come across as too overbearing or clingy or whatever but wow I REALLY WANNA BE ASSOCIATED WITH 'PERSON' ugh how do i 'life'? how do i level up? I imagine myself as a video game character who's reached a pretty high level and then plummeting down to the negative depths and now I have to redo everyth to get back to where i was at least i am not restarting hahaha pls i want to level up tho

here's a selfie (you can see my laptop screen reflected in the shades)