Wednesday, October 15, 2014

sigh i miss my best buds so much...... i feel so weird w/o them like i cannot go a month w/o seeing at least one of them rewatching himym makes me miss them even more :(((( legit v sad now but its alright its alright they are working hard (i hope) and studying hard for their future and i should just wait and support them through 2 more months i can do this they can do this v proud of all of you i miss u guys everyday cant wait for A's to return you guys to me and then i can smother all of you with my love AND FINALLY U CAN SMOTHER ME WITH UR LOVE TOO YA I V NEEDY

Friday, October 10, 2014

today was the last day of school for my would-have-been SA mates and funny how i was so close to a entirely different life and i still wonder what it would be like. i'd prolly get where i'd wanna be faster, and i think i would be able to land into my dream course in Uni, and i think it'll be really tough, i'd prolly be really depressed but at the same time, i think it might've been a great test of my limits. and in an alternate universe, i would've graduated today.

but there are plenty of alternate universes out there, there is one where i would be Paris Hilton, one where i'd be learning to hold my breath underwater, and one where i may actually really hate writing, and its pointless to be ~emotional~ about every missed chance/encounter i did not take. but once in awhile, i cannot help but just think about it, after all, i was so so close to living that alternate universe. but if i lived that alternate universe, i wouldnt have met all these amazing, hilarious so talented and passionate ppl around me. i must say, this is the first time i am in the presence of such passionate friends and it inspires me so much to always always always write better, to bleed more, and grow creatively. honestly speaking, back in xms, the only person i was very inspired with was PJ because of her love for dance and i found that v liberating!!

maybe there are ppl like that too in SA but you cant deny the presence of it here!!!!
so thats all there is to say, and im really psyched for my turn graduate 2 years from now with my buds and to gordy.... HAPPY GRADUATION!!!!! i know how sadhappy you are (or is it happysad??) but you did it bebs and im so proud of you!!!! :--))) time to DESTROY A'S

Friday, October 3, 2014

i am so happy but so lonely. 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

ahi tuna

ever since returning from Cambodia, i have been obsessed with Masterchef i think its my coping mechanism LOL tbh idk whats up with me recently, i get so tired when im out and all i want to do is go home but i also dont want to be at home....... anyway back to Masterchef, i am so so amazed by their talent??!?! it makes me really want to learn how to cook for the sake of my domestic future LOL i am literally the least domestic person at home and i want to change that HAHA very impressed by them my faves are Luca and Leslie, and i frickin love Luca!!!! legit i think hes my inspiration, he is so funny and caring and passionate and charming i want to live my life with that attitude!!! i want to be a Luca in my own right :--)) also want to pan sear an ahi tuna or steak (i alr figured out what to do for kest's very belated bday gift + belicia's upcoming gift) and im quite excited and nervous HAHH wish me luck

also notice Gordon Ramsay always says 'stunning' 'delicious' 'dreaded pressure test' 'speed up!!!' just get me on Masterchef!!!!!!!

am currently listening to 味道 which is a song released in 1994 and i listen exclusively to Jay Chou only but!!! god the lyrics are so simple yet is akin to a stab in my chest and then a forceful tug outwards kill me just kill me i added it to my sad emotional chinese playlist in spotify which i will not elaborate on beacause its quite embarrassing but i will put the chorus here ok so you can understand how how how painful it is


  • 想念你的笑 想念你的外套
  • 想念你白色袜子 和你身上的味道
  • 我想念你的吻 和手指淡淡烟草味道
  • 记忆中曾被爱的味道