what a long and eventful day. mich and I went to NTUC to collect cardboard and kope free plastic bags near the fruits section so embarrassing can you imagine the walk of shame as we left NTUC with piles of cardboard? Is it even legal???? To take w/o paying? Lol may or may not have accidentally broke the law unknowingly (is unknowingly redundant since accident suggests 'not on purpose' lol whatevs) this week is gon be crazy I don't even know where to start mann I  am blatantly avoiding my responsibilities prioritizing Christmas over everyth else 

I missed Lou so much I'm so glad she came today even tho she needs to STOP making up childhood mmrs like nope they did not happen (even tho some sound fairly vague) I have no clue how she even rmbs all these it's like the entire fabric of my mmrs are starting to get all moth-eatened anyway I was so mad just now how can a grown man be so ridiculous/self-centered/childish?!?!!?!? I hate to say this but sometimes I'd rather not be associated with some relatives I  losing every bit of remaining shreds of respect I have for you (honestly it's just an obligation) 

I'm so tired I don't even feel like I'm real to be honest Christmas doesn't even excite me like it used too it makes me feel even worst for some reason I rmb that the year is ending and I'm getting older and idk mann I feel like superficial deluding myself with all these 'buying of gifts' crap like it's a chore really I just wanna tell ppl straight in their face how impt they are to me and how much I appreciate them and want them to be happy Christmas is becoming so commercialized it makes me feel sick but yet I still confirm so I'm being hypocritical lol 

the radio is broadcasting really bad music and I am feeling pretty inconsequential now maybe it's the exhaustion I felt like I haven't properly rested ever since last Sunday I'm so tired :'( if I had a Christmas wish it'll be for me to leave sg this place is slowly draining every molecule of soul there are so many ppl I care about here in sg but to be very very very honest with myself I can't find any reasons for me to stay here