self-induced intervention

this has been a very long week. long as in, i've come to realise many things i was previously unaware of, and long as in i am finding it harder and harder to be more coherent in translating thoughts into words and even though the week has been very enriching and fulfilling, for once i am finding myself stuck and not detached like i always am. i am not willing though. more than ever it is a 'want' i have nursed since young but right now i am starting to come to terms with the fact that i cannot keep turning to escapism and that escapism might actually be the hell that i'm stumbling towards and this is a very pointless post, to sum up: i am a very unrealistic person, i need smth interesting to happen in my life right now and i need to stop worrying about my future (LOL) (ok sidenote idk if this is starting to morph into a problem is this a problem????)