sick

feeling horrible hoping I get better by tues I don't wanna miss work I need all the cash I can get the meds are supposed to make me sleepy but I'm wide awake (maybe cuz I've just watched the shining which was super confusing) and maybe cuz it's super hot my legs are burning and my voice is sounding reminiscent of BritBrit..... This is happening guys HAHA my time has come the dawn of a new era I think I might be having a fever my bones are aching this sucks mann I really am hopeless when it comes to taking care of myself how am I suppose to adult?????? Anyway I can't wait for school to commence though I feel like my brain isn't working anymore and my cheeks are feeling so flushed (is this even possible? Can cheeks feel??) sighpie I hate meds anyway Zep gave Belicia and I a pair of clip-on animal ears it's the gayest thing to ever exist idk why he thought we would even wear it but it's so cute HAHA I CANNOT STAND MY REFLECTION WHEN I WEAR IT HAHA it's like some kinky Halloween costume party accessory dear Lord 

1) wanna sing right now but ive messed my voice up
2) stupid meds i feel like im in a dream
3) kinda miss dad alr

undress and divulge

you are a mass of words 

scathing and scalding

mitch/cam and klaine

glee is like HSM gone wrong. firstly, no one cares about what goes on in Lima anymore ok no one cares about the random and thoughtless hookups and r/s in Lima and secondly Tina deserves a better storyline ok this show is going to the dogs. I adore adore adore Klaine but this Blaine's proposal compared to Mitch and Cam's (ModFam) felt too naive and over the top like Mitch and Cam's was so endearing and touching I freaking cried and NONE OF THEM EVEN POPPED THE QUESTION THEY BOTH KNEW. THEY BOTH KNEW THAT THEY EACH WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO ONE ANOTHER AND IF THAT ISNT LOVE THEN IDK WHAT LOVE IS THEY BOTH KNEW AND THEY BOTH SAID YES CUZ THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE FOREVER AND I LOVE MITCH AND CAM SO MUCH and when I watched Blaine's proposal I felt it was really sweet especially what he said about holding Kurt's hand forever or smth like that but it is just too unrealistic Kurt wouldnt want to be tied down but cuz he loves Blaine too he said yes cuz he cannot imagine spending a life w/o Blaine but honestly this is ridiculous Klaine deserves a more realistic practical proposal w/o all that fancy stuff just like Mitch and Cam's where they just both knew and comparing them both, the Klaine proposal seems so sumb and superficial and they do not deserve that ugh glee is over the Corey episode will be my last

trippy

woah the meds knocked me out pretty good it's like the potion HP took after the Triwizard Tournament and I had the weirdest dream which was a strange concoction of XMS plus my current school and woah extremely strange anyway when I woke up I thought that 

1) it was morning and the events that happened prior to my nap were all subconscious projections or things that happened the previous day

2) I slept through the entire day and it was morning 

wow I feel really disorientated and sleepy and sick darn you semi-weak immune system *shakes fist threateningky* (ROTHMC reference) (sorta?) 

you want a hot body?????

my eyes are dead 

bff aka mr insta popz has 6k followers came over today hai cutie we spent like 1 hour deciding on what movie to watch and in the end when we chose silent hill I GOT REALLY SLEEPY AND BORED SO I WENT TO NAP HAHAHAHAH LEAVING HIM BEHIND AND HE WAS LIKE 'oh no' whenever you knew some shiz's gonna blow AND THE MOVIE DOESNT MAKE SENSE LA finally got my books back I forgot that I owned The Timekeeper HAHA and he freaking popped in my toilet I will never forgive him WE FORGOT TO JAM TO BRITBRIT'S NEW SONG THOUGH

wonder if you're out there wondering if I exist too 

this is sorta like a delayed pcd im starting to feel this nasty ache like my heart freaking hurts whenever I think about Sat night, it cringes and all. For reasons unknown (see what i did there) I havent been harping on that surreal night like how I did after Paramore but whenever I think about it I just feel this wave of anguish and I just cant stop visualising Brandon's chiseled face freaking carved by angels and blessed with their tears AHHH I AM VERY SAD WHY WHY WHY

IM JUST GONNA SAY SITCOMS DONT LIE I AM BEYOND JOYFUL THANK GOD HALLELUJAH I KNEW WE WERE MORE THAN THIS

maybe I've been watching too much himym and i always had faith that we would be just like them throughout the ages but idk what to believe now and it sucks cuz it was the best thing that i had and now im torn in every way and i want to fix things but i just dont know how

maybe a thief stole your heart

ok so we entered the fanzone around 745ish and stealthily stalked our way to the front but when the race started everyone stood up and started jostling to the front AND WE COULDNT SIT AND WE WERE SEPARATED BUT WE MANAGED TO REUNITE AND THE 4 OF US (Miki, Manuel, Amos) HUDDLED IN A CIRCLE IT WAS A VERY BONDING EXPERIENCE and when my babies appeared onstage everyone was insane but after Spaceman,  no one was moshing they all just stood there LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! Come all the way to the front and all you do is video the whole perf w/o dancing or jumping or showing any form of physical response LIKE WHY??? Just let loose you paid 148 ok and yOU ARE SEEING THE KILLERS. THE FREAKING KILLERS. FREAKING BRANDON MARK RONNIE AND DAVE LIKE CAN YOU SHOW MORE RESPONSE and some ppl even brought DSLRs and wore dresses why just w h y the crowd really sucked big time the only plus was that I didnt suffocate and die in the moshpit so yeah. BRANDON I SWEAR BRANDON'S VOICE SO FLAWLESS and wow he did age a bit but still gorgeous in that red and white striped shirt (homage to sg's flag maybe?? or perhaps just following the theme) Honestly I couldnt see much just little glimpse through cracks and I relied alot on the giant screens but it feels so surreal being in the audience, witnessing them perform and during Human, Manuel lifted me up so that I could sit on his shoulders and holy. I could see the entire stage and nth was blocking my view and it felt like I was floating (do I sound like im trippin'??) but it was so amazing  thanks Manuel but sadly that euphoric moment didnt last the bouncer requested for me to get down but it was all I needed (I formed a heart with my arms while on top i hope he saw this tiny human form against the backdrop of the skyline its so romantic sigh with a surname like Flowers, how could anyone deny you??) and im so so so happy that we were super near the stage haha dem suckas at the back and Im gonna sound like a bitch but ppl dont even know the lyrics and they just stand there at least show some respect and move or smth dont just go for the sake of going pls ANYWAY THIS WAS THEIR SETLIST:

Mr Brightside
Spaceman
The Way it Was
Smile Like You Mean It
Human/Bling (Confession's of a King)
Shadowplay
Human (Reprise)
Somebody Told Me
I Think We're Alone Now (Cover)
For Reasons Unknown
From Here On Out
A Dustland Fairytale
All These Things I've Done
Read My Mind
Runaway
Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine
When You Were Young

sigh im so grateful I get to see them for their debut perf in sg now Im left with Coldfreakingplay, PATD, Snow P, Kodaline, Tom bby Odell, The Script, SFG, cannot wait for 1R in Oct Im starting to feel the symptoms of PCD sigh sigh sigh

ugh wake up in the morning feeling like crap prolly one of the worst sleep in a while for some reason I couldn't fall asleep exhaustion seeded in my bones but my mind was wide awake I swear like it was on caffeine or smth I think maybe I'm too excited my heart is literally pounding against my chest you can hear the murmur of buzz buzz buzz and I dreamt of really weird stuff again gahhhhh 

This must be how Tom felt after meeting Summer in the lift and I'm taking this as a direct sign from the universe holy crap 

feeling so disenchanted about everything. cant stop myself from worrying and it kinda makes me blue to see the disintegration of smth with so much potential, but i guess somethings are not meant to be and i hope everyth works out. heard some extremely good news today though, i feel so happy/proud/excited for whats to come and i honestly cannot wait for it to happen to me too. the mental/hypothetical visual ivan painted for me sounds like almost everyth that would complement me and idk its not an expectation but more of smth to look forward to? and well i really am looking forward to it now, im not sure if it'll change but i do hope fervently, that we will get whatever that's good for us

dont know whats going on in your head but i will not stand for this

I love my job, there is nth more fulfilling than serving icecream to customers and they get all goggly-eyed and excited like their inner kid comes out and when I'm done I feel like a freaking magician whipping up semi-solid spheres of pure joy and I feel so happy like good job kris you did good. And the ppl are all so lovely and sweet it's really a wonderful environment to be in plus the pay is pretty solid for the amount of work we do. But. When there's no one around for hours other than the occasional tourist I swear it's a hell hole I have resorted to arranging alr arranged spoons and trying to guess which couples are lesbians or a bunch of girlfriends and I am losing it I really am our neighbors look way happier than us and the grass has never looked greener on the other side idk how long more I can take this 

what does a duck egg taste like?

there are times when i feel like my voice sounds okaye, acceptable, soundcloud-worthy (but sometimes i even doubt it) and there are other times when i just cringe and shrivel and that ghastly noise and i just put away Danny and immediately blog about my lyf. HAHA i really cannot cannot cannot come to terms with the fact that I am going to see the killers. The Killers. THE KILLERS. I cannot. Of course i've been researching setlists and doing homework like memorising lyrics and after the ungodly run (rather walk while limping and crying while my mom jogs way ahead of me) from my place to ahgong's I AM STARTING TO WONDER IF I'LL EVER SURVIVE THE NIGHT my stamina is basically nada, zero hopefully adrenaline fuels my being anyway:

1) ADDICTED TO ARCTIC MONKEYS GAHH I rmb when I was p4 and Today had an article on AM and I rmb thinking 'lol what a lame name' AND WHAT 7 YEARS LATER THEIR LATEST ALBUM IS THE ONLY THING IVE BEEN LISTENING TO FOR 2 AND A HALF WEEKS and it is ridiculously solid and it makes you feel like kissing someone after listening to the songs

2) this is prolly the most um, horrifying/uncomfortable yet mildly entertaining job experience I ever had it is very disturbing but I shall only elaborate more once I quit but it fills me up with so much anger I feel like smashing all the flasks against the walls but I love my job it is only one aspect of it that makes me burnnnnn. Alot of interesting things happen during work and i met the sweetest guy ever today and it made my day, also serving excited customers is so fulfilling!! today I saw someone who looked vaguely familiar and i texted sis about it and he confirmed my suspicions had a good laugh over it haha im sorry but whenever i see kids/ppl posting pics with their significant other with captions like 'forever' or smth along those lines of short-sightedness and they become a dissolution a few weeks/months later it makes me laugh esp if they keep switching partners haha sorry not sorry just stick with one and commit ok if you cant then dont misuse 'forever'

3) cambodia is on bitchez!!!!!! enlivened and anticipating

4) are parents allowed to bully their kids into running errands?????? anyway mum sent me down last week to get mooncakes from bakerzin cuz she wanted them AND I WAS ABOUT TO GO NAP UGH but kinda glad I did cuz damn they are delish. there's like vodka, yuzu, irish cream and rum and raisin. I've never actually tasted vodka before so I cannot comment on the authenticy of the flavour

5) been watching miyazaki in recent nights and for some reason i find myself swooning at the teen romance this is unlike me dont know what to think about this but i really do wish I could go to japan one day THE SCENERY IN A FREAKING ANIME LOOKS SO SURREAL

ok i am extremely tired goodnight lonely minds

if this feeling flows both ways?

The pictures aren't in order, its so annoying but it takes ages to upload so imma just leave it there ok. Anyhoo, on fri Belicia and I headed down to Tiong Bahru area and we relied convulsively on Google maps like what to heck how many alleys are there in tiong bahru?! and how come I didn't see any HDB flats it was all like one/two storey houses like shop houses??? LIKE HOW DO PPL EVEN LIVE THERE??? but that place is too hipster for me Its a very quaint, a little rundown, quiet estate (maybe cuz it was a Friday afternoon) but there were plenty of cafes there and boutiques and we visited Books Actually AND I MUST SAY ITS ALMOST AS HEAVENLY AS KINO I felt like the whole store is like a cupboard filled with books and books and books 10/10 would reco must head down again with cash this time. trudged all the way to Tiong Bahru Bakery next and at first I thought they sold traditional pastries and what not BUT NO, IT WAS ARTISAN BREAD I WAS SO MAD I WANTED TO PUNCH A WALL hahahhah but we walked for like 20 mins so if we didnt dine there it would be pointless belicia then mentioned later that evening that her croissant cost more than her ban mian THIS HIGH LYF ISNT FOR ME :((( took a bus to chinatown and for just a teeny weeny moment I didn't feel like I was in my own country interesting experience. I adored the red lanterns at the temple they reminded me so much of the bathhouse in spirited away CAN I TELEPORT MYSELF INTO THE MOVIE PLS dont know where to explore next maybe balestier?? 

gay balls

'i am so artsy and pretentious ha ha ha'

kitty gon pounce

bow down bitchez

dont actually know what this translates to but the lanterns!!!! ahhh

an overview

for a moment i thought we ventured into little india

doodles on temporary construction walls

it'll be cool to live in one of these

chopsticks!! a pair for 1 buck, bought some porcelain design for mum

belicia mentioned that my skirt looked schoolgirl-ish, this pic makes it look like a uniform

taking pics with bins in the background y'all

ignore my hair but SWING!!

The Woman who Dived Into the Heart of the World

Ever since Gary Lightbody posted a pic of this book and described it as ' Wondrous. Prose so succulent it rises at you like golden-ripe mouthfuls of tropical fruit', ive been searching high and low for this book and finally almost a year later, i've finally read this and this book is like no other book i have ever read before. Written from the perspective of Karen, an autistic it delves into a strange and almost childlike narrative. Her honesty and way of viewing the world is almost seen as irrelevant or naive or bluntly put dumb, but yet she backs her thoughts with reasons, most of which pertaining to the welfare of tuna instead of self-interest and her uncanny ability to relate to how animals would behave is fascinating. I admire her detachedness from humans, how she has a 'Relating Mode' and a 'Non- Relating Mode' and personally I find it more of an advantage than a setback. Its her ability, to seamlessly float on land or in the sea, float out of consciousness and detect the little cracks in human relationships, the way they handle things. The process of slaughtering tuna in the most stress-free, eco-friendly manner is also interesting.

'The trick, reality thought again through Me, seems to be not to kill. Not to kill reality nor to let reality kill Me.'

http://snd.sc/14vtY4o

shameless self promotion HAHAHAH RR posted my cover on her insta i felt so embarrassed but thankful for her support my one min of fame was so addictive felt like miley freaking cyrus HAHA KIDDING I NEED TO GET ANOTHER JOB :(

so this is a simple song

Sis, ky and sh came over today and omg Kenneth was so noisy and disruptive the whole time no wonder his brothers are like that hahah but we had the best time ever and Kok and Kenneth stayed still pretty late (lazy pigs don't wanna leave) stalked sis's soundcloud and played his songs omg he was begging us to stop so embarrassing we almost died and whenevr he was being a nusiance i hid his phone under my mattress and he couldnt find it loser HAHA cannot wait for promos to be over to meet them again <3 

when you feel like an ocean made warm by the sun

finally went back to xms after 6 months. shared this little analogy (?) with hj and sh and compared xms to a small town where everyone knows everyone, no drama, peace and familiarity exists. But after awhile you just kinda get suffocated and tired of the mundane life. It is a happy place but hardly satiable   still I am completely grateful for the ppl I met here. And even though it didn't prepare me for the big bad world out there it gave 4 awesome years and I thinks it fair enough. I guess you could survive anywhere, as long as you're comfortable with yourself, whatever the environment.

does happiness stem from sadness??

oh dear Lord ive done it. THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THAT THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A STRANGER I KNOW NTH ABOUT HIM IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO LET MY DEPLORABLE HEART DO UNHEALTHY THINGS NOPE NOPE NOPE

Dash and Lily's Book of Dares

'In a field, I am the absence of field. In a crowd, I am the absence of crowd. In a dream, I am the absence of dream. But I don't want to live as an absence. I move to keep things whole. Because sometimes I feel drunk on positivity. Sometimes I feel amazement at the tangle of words and lives, and I want to be a part of that tangle.'

The last Cohn-Levithan collaboration I read was Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist which I enjoyed throroughly because it was so straight to the point and excitable w/o being overly kitschy or cheesy it was simply pure adrenaline. The next collab I read was Dash and Lily's Book of Dares and it felt extremely remiscent of TFIOS but anyway this book was published way before TFIOS just that I read TFIOS first. Anyway since Cohn and Levithan did not write tgt and corresponded through email for Dash's and Lily's chapters separately, the writing style is starkingly different Levithan has a more mature a little pretentious vibe in the voice of Dash while Lily, came across as rather naive and annoyingly happy LIKE GURL HOW CAN YOU BE THIS INNOCENT?!?!?!?!?! She is being presented as a dorky yet cute in a nerdy way but a tad too childish and pure soccer girl WHICH BTW DOES NOT HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE and Dash is extremely like able however at the end of the novel he kinda loses his street cred and becomes a complete opposite of what he was in the beginning. In my opinion the book would've been better if Dash got back with Sofia and Lily learnt to finally grow up. There were signs of Levithan hinting at Dash's buried feelings for Sofia and I thought that was pretty realistic but I preferred NANIP better than this it's a very chick flick book a movie worthy one but not very memorable pretty whimsy though but still I'm sticking with NANIFP maybe it's targeted audiences were older teens still a pretty interesting read. 

definition of literary devices

You are a metaphor for ache
I,
A mere verb
(repeat)
encircle my Es
while my tongue cradles your name
it is an onomatopoeia for the echolalia of whywhywhywhy that taunts my anima
I am an inconsequential irony
the imagery of petals desiccated on your back, your skin a canvas
my fingers leave crimson trails tracing my peregrinate that foreshadows our quietus
your eyes are allusions to the stars (celestial bodies and constellations i analyze and dissect)
my red hands a symbolism for the anarchy within the confines of my mind
and how seamlessly it levigates at the hyperbole of you

Glass shatters

There's this episode in himym where the concept of deal breakers slash glass shatterers are introduced. It's like how you don't realise smth and once someone points it out to you, you cannot help but become extra sensitive to it and it eventually destroys whatever good will/intention/feelings you had towards that person/idea and I just came across the biggest glass shatterer ever and it's a horrifying visual, one I cannot unsee and I am 500% over it omg it's so disturbing but I'm glad I saw it because now I don't feel the same anymore I will never ever ever speak to said person ever again. 

On a sidenote I should stop obsessing over raspberry cheeks 

And ytd after the 5km run there were like goody bags and there were tags in it and I had one that said #swag I AM NOT KIDDING THE REST HAD LAME ONES LIKE PEACE AND RESPECT AND YOLO but yolo isn't lame AND I GOT FREAKING SWAG WADDUP WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME????? Gonna clip this to my Coldplay pencil case