'this world was never enough for you'

It took me awhile to come to terms with this film, with the strange strange fascinating concepts of space travel, i think, i think 'Interstellar' has unlocked some facet of emotions ive never felt ever, in me. I feel ache i feel despair I feel a number of emotions, wrapped up in cosmic science, celestial bodies my mind cannot comprehend. 'Interstellar' stepped all over my heart.

I find it even hard to talk about this incredible glorious work of art. I look to the sky and the gravity of how vast and empty this Universe it, hits me. If i'd leave the planet for Galatic endeavours, essentially i become a man in a can. i'd spend my days alone facing, possible, imminent danger/death the further i trek. i'd look out of my window and i wouldnt see trees, a stray bird, leaves falling. i'd see more sky, more nothingness, more death. i'd be waddling in death, i'd be all alone. if i screamed no one would hear me and if i wanted to go home it would take decades at least, and if i were to go home, where would home be exactly? i think once you are staggeringly distant from where you call home, there really isnt a point in going back. i think i'd rather go to sleep, i think i'd rather sleep forever, in my pod, in my space ship, in space, away from everywhere and everything. but to be alone, to be truly alone, is terrifying. and i felt all that terror all that despair right in my seat. What did you think you would achieve by flying yourself through the galaxy and onto a planet, which is essentially rock and carbon, what did you think you would achieve? what did you think you would find there? and what made you want to go there in the first place?

the core of the film really is the relationship between Murph and Cooper and it pretty much wrecked me, how could you blame a man like Cooper to flee to the stars? punishing him to the dirt back on earth confining him to the ground, but then how could you leave Murph behind? In 'The Alchemist' Paulo Cohelo talks about how everyone has a Personal Legend and maybe Cooper's personal legend was to explore the rest of the universe but does that validate then his decision to leave his daughter behind? idk mann i really dk, can you imagine tho, being away from your family knowing they have no idea f you're still out there, if you've been reduced to a mere speck of celestial dust, sending blips into the sky to tell you how much they miss you and wish you were with them, my heart my heart my heart, i dont think i can ever imagine that happening to me.

this has been the most emotionally exhausting, traumatic, painful, wrecking film i've ever watched in my entire life. my second time in theatres watching this film and my heart still swells and ache.